DeafHope’s Lavender Film Festival

DeafHope

Around a month ago, I wrote, performed, and edited (with a help of Terri’s filming talent, thank you!) and submitted my début film to the DeafHope’s Lavender Film Festival. This video is very special to me not only because it is my first film that I edited entirely by myself, but because the subject is very heavy and sensitive and painful. If it never happened to me, I would not have a gut to create something like this, but it did and I just felt I had to do it. When the project was finished, it’s like I underwent an emotional purging and it was a really surreal experience.

Thank you DeafHope for making me do it. It’s truly a great honor being part of something remarkable and meaningful. I applaud to all other who submitted in their films, even through I haven’t seen theirs yet, I know they are brave enough to spread awareness that it is okay to speak up. Also thank you everyone who’s involved in this film, without you, it will not happen. Thank you again!

“Accept no ones’ definition of your life; define yourself.”

Renny’s Letters

More than year has gone by since Renny was last arrested on November 21st, 2011, leading to his prison time. He’s already served the first year of his sentence and has more than a decade to go, unless his parole board decides to let him out earlier. Rex will be well into his teenage years by the time Renny serves his sentence full-time and gets out.

This sole fact is already enough for me to let Renny go and move on. However, we still write letters to each other and his letters almost always make me emotional. No matter how detached I’ve been from him, living far away in the world, his letter always bring me back to right in front of him, behind the bars inside his cell. His letters enclose me in the four cold stone walls of his life. They angered me and made me cry. But his desperate words and search for spiritual wisdom (specifically, the whys of his destructive actions) also filled me with the mixture of forgiveness and compassion. He has a very long road ahead of him.

And so do I, raising Rex along the way.

That’s why I’ve a hard time keeping up with this blog, because it reminds me how I feel alone with so many responsibilities and sacrifices. Every time I write Renny a letter, I’m emotionally worn out by the time I sign my name.

I don’t want to feel that way every time I click ‘Publish’. I don’t want to turn my blog into a place for me to whine and bitch around because life didn’t turn out the way I expected.

Don’t get me wrong, our letters are not entirely of sad stories and angry resentments. We talk about what we read and saw on TV. We talk about the future. We talk a lot about spirituality. I told him he can write for this blog if he is ready and wants to. He said he will.

I also have to prioritize. I’m so happy to tell you that I’m the Production Assistant for ASL Films’ next production which will be filmed in Minnesota this coming spring. I really look forward to experiencing this exciting opportunity.

And not only that, our latest film, SLOT, is already out! Check out www.aslfilms.com for the showings in your area. I’m in it and it is something that I am proud to be part of!

Alas, that means you might hear less from me for the next few months, but this blog is still very much alive, and I will keep you updated every once in while with any kind of news or anything relating to the project or what I am doing. Thank you, my friends, for reading and staying in touch with me! I’m glad you are part of my life! And to others, thank you for your continuing support, I can feel it and I really appreciate it!

Until then,

Bellamie

Thank You for the Liebster Award!

Leila, thank you for tagging me and giving me the Liebster Award. It’s a great honor. Also your blog is awesome!

Of course, I had to google up the Liebster Blog Award and what I found out is that it is actually a nice token of appreciation from bloggers to other bloggers with around 200 followers or less. The award recognizes the emerging bloggers and encourages them to get more recognition. The word “Liebster” comes from German language meaning beloved or dearest.  Naturally, there is a set of rules that come with the award:

The Rules:
1. Each blogger must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you.
3. Create 11 questions for the bloggers you have tagged to answer.
4. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
5. Go to their page and tell them.
6. No tag backs!
So, here I am excited to carry on the honor of presenting the Liebster award to some of my favorite bloggers, but first, I gotta share 11 things about myself:
1. I have a serious case of British invasion fever.
2. Washing dishes is my favorite chore. I think it’s because of all dishwashing I had to do as my punishment during the summer camps.
3. My hobbies include painting and jewelry-making.
4. I’m still not over the Olympics, so I’m reading Gold by Chris Cleave right now. So far so good.
5. Two things I must have daily: COFFEE and DARK CHOCOLATE!
6. I like to watch The Bachelor/ette. So what?
7. The Harper’s Bazaar and Elle are my fashion bibles.
8. I’m a proud child of Polish descendants.
9. I have one year old son who is an absolute joy in my life. He signs CHOO-CHOO for anything that has wheels. How can you not love that?
10. I love being near a body of water, especially ocean.
11. I meditate sometimes to de-stress. I strongly encourage people to try it.
Now to answer Leila’s questions:
1. What does your favorite pair of shoes look like? Describe them in detail and explain why they are your favorite. Take a picture, even!
I just bought my second pair of Vibram Five Fingers. I absolutely love them! I can’t imagine going back to regular sneakers again.
2. What is your all-time favorite movie, or the closest thing to it?
    That’s always a hard question for me since I don’t have any particular favorites. I like different movies for different reasons, but few of     them are impossible to forget like My Girl, the first movie I cried to ever. I was 8 years old at that time.
3. What is one thing people generally like to eat or drink, but you can’t stand?
     That’s easy, soda!
4. Why are you where you are right now?
     That’s a long story, but in a nutshell, what would you do in the name of love?
5. What is one guilty pleasure you would have a hard time giving up?
     Reading the tabloids. My favorite: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
6. Favorite month of the year, and why?
     January because it’s beginning of the year, and all summer months because they are summer months!
7. One place you loved traveling to?
    Several, but I’ll have to say Costa Rica.
8. What is the one word in the English language that you absolutely love?
     Love. It’s a lovely word.
9. What are you reading now? Would you recommend it?
     I’m reading two books simultaneously- Gold by Chris Cleave and Burn Down to Ground by Kambri Crews. Both highly recommended.
10. When you just need a place to escape to, where do you go?
      Somewhere with trees and grasses.
11. What physical trait do you have that makes you you?
      I have a couple of scars on my left knee.
My nominations:
Your 11 questions:
1. How was your summer?
2. Any exciting plans until December?
3. Who’s your favorite author and why?
4. What’s on your must watch movies list?
5. What is your favorite era in history and why?
6. What’s the most memorable place you have been to? Why?
7. Which do you prefer to live, on the mountain or by the ocean? Why?
8. What is your beauty routine?
9. When do you feel most beautiful?
10. What is the last thing you do before you shut your eyes for the night?
11. What is one thing you MUST do before you die?
Good night!